Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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