they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
