Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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