you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
