I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
