um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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