We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
