Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
