Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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