he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dick has a subreddit
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
