All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
