i can't believe i had my finger in that
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
