I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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