You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
