It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
