Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
