i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
