Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
