I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
