I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize