What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
