How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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