Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
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We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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