fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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