try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
