hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
