i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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