White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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