3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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