Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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