Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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