I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im having a threesome with these popsicles
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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