i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize