She is in my trunk
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
