I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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