i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
