ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
