i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
