Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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