i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
