so explain again why im purple
no
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize