Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
