his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
