Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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