we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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