Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
