so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
