guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
