does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
