Operation Purity has been aborted
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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