she was so not down for the gang bang
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
