No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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