grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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