Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
