I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
