There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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