i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
