dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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