it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
