i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this will be a night to untag.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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