you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
