He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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