you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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