I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
