My hand turned me down
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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