last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
